How??

How can this woman who gave life to me, make me feel like I'm trapped in some mental institution with no way out? I can totally understand why some people fake their own death, to start a new life, for whatever reason, the thought of leaving one day just walking out the door and never looking back brings such great joy to my thoughts, you have no idea. I can sit here and actually feel the love that I have for her, the energy for life drain out of me....what kind of life is this?