In the beginning....

I apologize for not starting off the blog with a bit of history. I am in my early not yet mid 30's I am a single parent and have one sibling. I have been elected and or chosen to take on the responsibility years ago to care of my mother. Now, I'd like to first start with, I love my mother dearly she has made me a strong individual and has supported every decision that I've made for myself weather she agrees with it or not, I know that she supports me no matter what. With that said, years ago I can't even remember the exact date she had a heart attack and at the time she was living in a very rural area, when the Doctors explained that with her heart disease, diabetes and other problems it would be a good idea for her to relocate to a major metropolitan city, for the mere fact that there are several "trauma hospitals" in the area to pick from should something happen again. Well, long story short I being the youngest of her two kids and let's be honest the only one capable mentally to handle such a situation, was elected to bring her with me to the city, I hadn't realized then but I was going to take the journey or responsibility all on my own, no help in sight from what I now call "her family", because now where I sit today "my family" consists of my son, my mother, my boyfriend and a few friends I've made these last few years.....I don't know nor do I want to know where "her family" disappeared to during these years of taking care of her, all I know is they were no where to be found when I needed help with her.

That was many, many years ago and hours upon hours of what probably should have been a time where I should have sought "therapy". It’s been amazing having her with my son and myself because she is great and she is helpful most of the time, but I had no idea years ago what I was getting into and now that I think back and look where I am at today, yes I am able to say I've helped but not with the pride that I thought would be there, it’s more like I hide the frustration, anger and depression that taking care of her has caused, not to mention it has negatively affected my relationship with her, I don't see it every being what it used to be again. In my posts I hope to give you more insight to my background with her and my other family members and hope to hear any feedback from others who have either gone through the same experience and or are currently going through the same thing. For now, yesterday at the end of the day my hope was to be able to go home, do my homework, relax and try to unwind and get a snippet of rest..... It didn't happen, but there's always a change for it to happen today.