Passages...New Passages

Gail Sheehy, AARP Care giving Ambassador, has a great book out "New Passages: Mapping your life across time" its a sequel to "Passages", another great book. AARP has some very interesting articles about care giving.

The day is looking better :)

I'm only half way through the day and this blog already has provided so much stress relief I can't even explain. I would like to share that I love my mother dearly and I thank god every day that she is here with me, because honestly I'd rather have her here even if she and her health are taking a toll on my mental and physical health than not have her here with me in this world at all, she is everything to me and my son and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea that I don't love her, I do with all of my heart its just the circumstances that we are in that create the negative that I have to deal with and go through so that is where this blog and everyone's comments will help me become a better care giver, mother, daughter and friend. So thank you to everyone who participates.
side note: I will be posting local Phoenix Az, locations like library's for example that have program's for older adults, as well as community programs that will also help in the responsibility of being a care giver to a parent.
Thank you again :)

In the beginning....

I apologize for not starting off the blog with a bit of history. I am in my early not yet mid 30's I am a single parent and have one sibling. I have been elected and or chosen to take on the responsibility years ago to care of my mother. Now, I'd like to first start with, I love my mother dearly she has made me a strong individual and has supported every decision that I've made for myself weather she agrees with it or not, I know that she supports me no matter what. With that said, years ago I can't even remember the exact date she had a heart attack and at the time she was living in a very rural area, when the Doctors explained that with her heart disease, diabetes and other problems it would be a good idea for her to relocate to a major metropolitan city, for the mere fact that there are several "trauma hospitals" in the area to pick from should something happen again. Well, long story short I being the youngest of her two kids and let's be honest the only one capable mentally to handle such a situation, was elected to bring her with me to the city, I hadn't realized then but I was going to take the journey or responsibility all on my own, no help in sight from what I now call "her family", because now where I sit today "my family" consists of my son, my mother, my boyfriend and a few friends I've made these last few years.....I don't know nor do I want to know where "her family" disappeared to during these years of taking care of her, all I know is they were no where to be found when I needed help with her.

That was many, many years ago and hours upon hours of what probably should have been a time where I should have sought "therapy". It’s been amazing having her with my son and myself because she is great and she is helpful most of the time, but I had no idea years ago what I was getting into and now that I think back and look where I am at today, yes I am able to say I've helped but not with the pride that I thought would be there, it’s more like I hide the frustration, anger and depression that taking care of her has caused, not to mention it has negatively affected my relationship with her, I don't see it every being what it used to be again. In my posts I hope to give you more insight to my background with her and my other family members and hope to hear any feedback from others who have either gone through the same experience and or are currently going through the same thing. For now, yesterday at the end of the day my hope was to be able to go home, do my homework, relax and try to unwind and get a snippet of rest..... It didn't happen, but there's always a change for it to happen today.

First Day of a path to Sanity

Today is my first day posting after creating this blog and there is so much to share and post about, but for now I'd just like to say.... I sit here at work and hope that when I get home that I don't have to "run errands", "clean up a tornado" or "deal with a drama filled conversation with my mother about my sister and whatever her or her son has done now"....Is that too much to ask for? I'd just like to get home and have my son say he is completely done with his home work and that my mother doesn't need me to go anywhere for her or sit and listen to her try to explain away whatever trouble my sister and or her son has gotten into now.